Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
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