apparently the secret to your success is patron
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
