I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
