I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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