Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Man, jail baloney is awful.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
