It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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