So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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