It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
