Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
