So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
