Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
