Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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