1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
