one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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