is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
