Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
