Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
