I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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