I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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