As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
