the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
