he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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