Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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