I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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