I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
