At least make sure they are 18
Why
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
