Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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