I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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