I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
