Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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