She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
