I think I won the penis lottery.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
