It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
