I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
