my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
she woke up with a sticky ear
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
