Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
