I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
