Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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