Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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