I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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