Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
BRING THE BAGELS
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
