Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
