I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
