So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
