What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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