jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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