I understand why you refuse to be sober now
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
