Whatcha textin bout Willis?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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