There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Randomize
