it was like his penis was on wheels.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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