sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
