I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
