i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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