can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
